My darling, My daughter…
How are you, My beautiful child? I have missed you, I’ve been wondering where you have been. I feel as though I have spent so long watching you, being there for you, just waiting for you to notice Me.
You often feel that in a crowded room; you’re alone.. Don’t you notice me at the back of the room, as you dance about in your world? I’m watching you from a distance, from where you left Me when you pushed Me to the side, hid My word in your backpack, closed the pages of your journal when someone asked what you were writing; for fear of what others might think of Me, your Father.
I’m still here, sometimes I see you looking for Me, at the end of the day – when everyone else has gone home, and you’re laying in your bed, staring out the window. When you go into the bathroom, wipe off your make-up, and remember who you naturally are… I hear your heart looking for Me. I’m there My beautiful girl; when you stare at your reflection, and you cringe at the way your nose turns slightly out at the bottom, or the way your freckles aline perfectly across your cheeks. When you purse your lips at the colour of your skin, the shape of your hairline, and the way your lips don’t always rest perfectly together. You never seem to like what you see, and I try to reach out to you, and explain why I painted your face that way, why I intricately sketched your lips to fall together the way they do – but you’re too busy for me, it seems you always are these days… Splashing inks of red, creams, browns and blacks across your face; hiding the masterpiece that I created you to be; sometimes I worry you have forgotten who you truly are, My child.
I see you each week, stepping through your routines, meeting your friends, and making time to talk. I know you probably wish I wasn’t My dear, but I find Myself falling jealous to the time you have for everyone but Me. I wonder; do you remember last Sunday, when you promised we would have coffee together, when you said you were sorry for all the times you left me waiting, sitting and hoping you would arrive; I waited with my arms filled to overflowing. I prepared gifts for you each time you said we would meet… I wrapped grace in a parcel, perfectly and sweetly; for all the times you did Me wrong. I folded compassion and love into a neat bundle, with a ribbon of acceptance around it, gently tied with care and concern for you – for all the times you felt unwanted, unloved and alone, the times you felt no one cared… I waited for you, but you did not come; lately dear, you rarely come…
I fell to My knees for you today, I begged for your company in some kind of way.
I fell to My knees and I called out your name, hoping maybe, you’d do the same.
But I waited again, I sat waiting for you; in a crowded room, where no body knew; that you had promised Me your time, for a short moment or two. I waited patiently for you, because you are worthy of My time, I consider you much more important than any other creation of Mine. It was then and there, I stood to my feet, and found you somewhere new… From across the room, I noticed you… You had forgotten about Me, My princess – but I hadn’t forgotten about you.
I’ve played hide and seek with you; I promised I would find you, and surely I did. When it came to your turn to come to Me, My dear, I waited for so long – only to find, you lost interest in our time together. I’ve played tag with you; I chased you, and chased you, and chased you again, I’ll never give up chasing you… Not until the very end. But when you chased Me back; that’s what gave Me great joy, to have you reach out your arms to Me; calling My name, telling Me you want Me, you need Me… It was beautiful, but short lived. – I wonder where you have gone My child; don’t you know I miss you?
I know you love encouragement, inspiration and conferences with great speakers; you love the hype of My word, and the gift of My life – but when it comes to the crunch, and you’re the star of the show – I long to be front row and centre, proudly cheering you on. But instead you buy me no ticket, and there I am; waiting for you again, at the back of a crowded room.
My daughter, do you remember when you told me you couldn’t go on? When tears stained your cheeks, and you found it hard to breathe – you sat weeping from a distance, but all of a sudden, you found support? That caring friends hand on your shoulder; the text message from your sister, the facebook message you received; it was not merely a coincidence, it was a small reminder of how lovingly I care for you.
I miss you My daughter, I miss the way you would take time for Me; and keep it
I miss the way you would proudly tell your friends about My faithfulness, and believe it.
I miss you desiring Me, wanting Me, and Hungering for Me; desperately and longingly, wanting more of Me. You have forgotten Me, My Child…
My heart is breaking for you; please come back to Me?
I’ll be waiting where you left Me, at the back of the crowded room.
Lovingly and longingly, prayerfully and passionately signed;
Your Father, Your Lord, Your King, Your Best Friend, Your Comforter, Your Counsellor.